Black Handshakes VS White Handshakes

Do you ever remember the pre Twitter times, when you went to shake someone’s hand, but you weren’t sure if you should go in for the white guy handshake - the urban fist clenched shake with the added white guy handshake – or if you just give an urban fist clench shake? But then, do you lean in after you shake? Are you supposed to put your left arm all the way around their back or just slightly graze the shoulder?

Do I snap my fingers after we shake and lean towards each other? What if I don’t? What if I wasn’t supposed to give the white guy handshake and how will I know? Maybe I put my arm too far around their back when I went for the lean in… and, what about the fist pound? If they look somewhat urban (racially mixed) does this warrant a leaned in urban clenched fist handshake, with a left arm swing around the back? Check out Jamie Foxx and Jimmy Kimmel break it down …

All of these options become obsolete with the simple democratic white guy handshake. You know what you are going to get. The worse that could happen would be a limp hand, sweaty hand or one of those shakes where they just shake your fingers… (What is that all about) it’s – a – handshake – people, not – a – finger – shake. Either way, the safe diplomatic move is most always the white guy handshake which is probably why it has lasted the test of time. Simple. Efficient. Gets the job done.

Handshake scenarios always interest me, as I engage with all sorts of different people. I find the majority of time is the handshake reveals unique trends of that certain individual. The more flashy, eccentric types of people carry these traits into their handshake. In essence, the shake is tied to their own confidence meter, very similar to your gas gauge in your car. Check out this video which clearly displays flavor. Watch closely at how many handshakes there are, big ups to Coach Jerry Manuel.

In essence, all of this is there to say the world is a socially awkward place. C’mon, just look at how much expletive is out there! 6 things to say to make friends, 5 things to not say and make friends, 4 things to wear when making new friends, 3 things to not wear when hanging with new friends, 2 drinks to never order when meeting new friends… and last but not least, the #1 thing to never say while meeting new friends. Go ahead… I know your bored and want to google all of those tips.

We have more ways to interact with people than every before, the problem is most people are just so damn awkward to be around. Have you ever interacted with someone on Facebook or Twitter and then meet them in person? The best part is when they post something to you on Facebook, or RT you on Twitter, and you see them face to face and the world in one moment seems to… f r e e z e.

It is like slow motion for me: watching people, who days earlier had just blasted on my Facebook page to say “Great Post,” “those wedding photos are beautiful,” or “taco tuesday seems like so much fun,” only to see them in person and they are as silent as a 5 year old child who you have kept awake on purpose for 48 straight hours, and finally allowed them to sleep.

I have had a number of people Walk – Right – By – Me! I’m like, didn’t you just post on my wall 3x, comment on my wedding album or RT and then you see my real face and can’t f’ing say hello? Sounds more like, Un_social Media. I want to grab them and say, “why do post on my wall and then pretend you DON’T SEE ME! Am I repulsive or are you ashamed to say hello?”

What do you do with people who are electronically social, but reality unsocial?

They are world class Facebook and Twitter users, but low class in handshakes and life story exchanges. If this type of person is existing in exponential numbers around the world, what do you think will happen in the churches we attend? What happens if more and more people pledge honesty in an electronic world than their own real world? What kind of social pit falls must we be aware of in this humanity technology exchange?

Look, I think technology and online platforms like Twitter and Facebook are amazing. We have an incredible array of tools to use in our world. Great tools, fun tools that can truly be beneficial. We should also take a look at what a “tool” can do instead of seeing how many tools we can collect. Face to face human interaction is paramount for our balance to this world we have created. Why do I think this is important? …Good question Kojak, never thought you would ask.

We need to bust off our routines and collide with humanity. We need to look at someone in the face and find out about their life. We need to stop googling a funny quote to say to somebody so we can copy-n-paste it on their wall, and start finding out what their wall really is. What is so great about hanging out with people is that it forces you to: get off YOUR SCHEDULE AND IN THEIR SCHEDULE.

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6 Comments

Berna Lee

03.05.2010

Especially liked the last paragraph… enjoyed your thoughts on the matter of interacting with humanity.
Theo B

03.06.2010

My dap is on point Train. U know that. I got something new for ya when I see u. It’s a mix between the dirty south and some Chi-town flava. Holla
renee

03.06.2010

totally agree!!
CHARLIE

03.06.2010

GOOD GRIEF – ARE HANDSHAKE TYPES OUR ONLY CONCERN IN THESE SAD TIMES?
anthony

03.07.2010

your right charlie, lots of other hot topics out there. we still value your input and taking the time to read.

thx charlie.
Megan Ashley

03.08.2010

I totally agree so many people have hudreds of friends on these electronic social interactions, but when it comes down to it the human contact is what really touches a person, not the keyboard.
by the way charlie you obviously havent taken a look at the whole profile.they are raising money for haiti by selling tshirts.my advice to you buy one and next time look at the whole page,not just one post.

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