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In the right hand corner, we have 5 foot 10 inch blonde hair, blue eyed, 8 year church member, faithful tither and up and coming leadership member Daaaaaaaaaa_____viiiiiiiiiiiiiiid!!! In the left hand corner, 5 foot 7 inch brown hair, brown eyed, 8 year church member, creative women’s  leadership team member and direct friend of the pastors wife Viiiiiicccccccc____toooooooooooo_____reeeeeeee____aaaaaaaaa!!! The lights are hot, the church building is watching and we are set to watch church divorce in action.

Disclaimer: This is in no way written to belittle the awful situation of divorce nor its impact on the lives around those involved. This is a brief fictional story about church divorce and its akwardness.

David is a young married guy who is starting to seize life. He is a faithful attendee at White Oak Church of Christ and has become a key leader in the young adult ministry. He earns probably between 45k-60k per year and seems like he loves being at church. Every time you see the guy he is helping the church in some format. You look at him and your brain shouts to you, how – the – hell – does – he – do – it?

Victoria is gorgeous and fits the church life structure beautifully. She graduated with an art degree so she is also involved heavily at church. She is a key creative leader who not only understands creativity but is incredible at meeting deadlines. You could not ask for more from a volunteer at church. Plus, she is hot which adds to the church cool factor.

David and Victoria appear to be the perfect young church couple. Their friends embrace them and others envy their incredible workmanship in the church. While all of this is happening on the outside, life nestles its way in between them and shortly after they are separated. This is when you read this scripture and get really confused.

Matthew 19:9 ⁹I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Let’s think about what happens to the couple now that they are separated. The news has leaked at White Oak Church of Christ. How do you approach this couple? Do you send them a text to say, praying for yah? Do you send them a Facebook message, hope you are ok? Do you call them to risk hearing all of the details … do you even want to hear all of the details? Who’s side are you on?

Let’s say you were close to both of them, who do you contact? I would assume if your a male you would contact David unless you are trying to swoop in for a rebound with Victoria. In that case  you would automatically be an utter dirt bag and should become a male prostitute in Sodom without KY Jelly.

What is the protocol on this type of situation? How do you know who is right or wrong? Who deserves what kind of attention? What do you do when one of them returns to church and the other is too embarrassed? Now that text messaging and social media is so prevalent do you resort to these measures of communication?

Here are a few things that I do:

1.  If you don’t want to hear all the details and form an opinion, send a sincere text about the good that you know about them. Focus on the Christ in them.

2.  If you see them don’t avoid! It only makes it more akward. I usually go for the pat on the butt, followed by a good game. This is an excellent ice breaker especially during World Cup 2010.

3.  Pray for the both of them. If the Holy Spirit can pray for your dirty, nasty soul. You can do the same for someone else.  And you know how much of a scumbag you are, be honest. Your brain is disgusting.

4.  Be patient and exercise self control. This is not a moment to be the church Perez Hilton or E News update. This is when you have the power of life and death in your tongue. Allow patience to have its perfect work.

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