photo by @johnramirez417

I probably should have some sort of about me page on this website but I don’t. I should have a really nice logistical page clarifying what my hate for church really is, but I don’t. I should layout a 10 point post stating why I love the church and why I use the word hate in its place, but I don’t. Look people! I know I should, I don’t but maybe you will actually read some of these posts and figure it all out?

This past weekend some friend and I embarked on a local project which has been a dream of mine for a bit of time. We grouped up, picked up a few cases of bottled water, ice and coolers and distributed to bar hoppers in our town (Tinley Park, IL.)

We have been discussing Servolution in our community. If you do not know what Servolution is, check out the side link bar on the right hand side of this screen. Great book by Dino Rizzo who kills it in Baton Rouge, LA.

If you ever stumbled out of a bar you can appreciate a friendly face with a FREE bottle of water. If you are about to hack all over the place or have already spewed your guts in a trash can, then you know. Get Home Safe! Drive safe! Have a great night! These are words of life.

My boy John Ramirez who is an absolute wizard at the age of 17 was out there with us and put together this little diddy. He is for hire if you need some ninja skills.

Photo by Norman Jean Roy for Details Magazine September 2010

Can’t say I would ever imagine one of my favorite men’s magazines picking up a story concerning church. I was nervous at first to open up the front cover. I obviously looked around to see if anyone was watching. I mean, it is Zac Efron on the cover. He is not exactly one of those guys you look at and say, “Ya, Zac seems like a fly dude.”  You don’t just pick up the magazine when someone that – good – looking is on it as a male reader. Rule #1 to being a closet homosexual. Buying and reading anything containing Zac Efron.

Zac will catch more flack because he is better looking than 99.987% of the people on this planet. Hence, he will fall into the “you may be gay for looking at him” category. Sorry Zac, you’re a cool cat but you know how it is. Fortunately, you’re so good looking and still young that your fan base may stick with you for another 4 years. Until they release a new, hotter version of Zac. The new Zac will be all the goodness of Zac except Hollywood will add a regenerated chromosome. This new chromosome will contain enough badboy in him to outshine the original Zac. This will in turn create a “War upon Zac Efron”. Good Zac vs Bad Zac.

Right up front I have to applause Anna David for writing such a great piece concerning “The New Faces of Faith”. Anna is a brilliant writer and beautiful which now makes sense why she hit up Reality LA church. We all know beautiful people beget beautiful people. Does that theory count as the “Law of Attraction?” Not quite sure but Anna delivered a hit concerning beautiful people, the church and its driving force in Los Angeles.

What I love about this story is the idea that this type of Christian Faith is front page worthy. Everything Reality LA church is doing is making an impact in a unique way with tastemaker media. Tim Chaddick has been busting his tail for over 4 years in Los Angeles building a boutique style church. A church that speaks the language of this unique culture. A church communicating the black and white message of the gospel in Los Angeles. A church that has hundreds of what we would call “beautiful people” sitting in chairs listening to a pastor. A church attracting the attention of Conde’ Nast (publisher of Details Magazine).

WAKE UP PEOPLE! CONDE’ NAST IS IN BUSINESS OF SELLING STORIES, AND THE CHURCH IS ONE IN WHICH PEOPLE ARE LISTENING. GET TO WORK AND GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY IN GOD’S BUSINESS, THE CHURCH.

What we are reading here people is that The Church Has Influence. The church is intriguing enough for Details Magazine to cover Reality LA and run a tag line on the front cover of their magazine (The Hottest Pickup Spot in Hollywood is…Church). The church attracts “beautiful people” who are wanting to know this God they heard about as a kid but stopped believing because it was lifeless.  The church is a driving force garnering attention from the largest media outlets. The church has more than enough influence and power to change the course of a nation.

I salute Pastor Tim Chaddick for continuing his relentless pursuit of communicating God’s power and gospel. Of course now many people I am certain are jumping on the Tim Chaddick bandwagon. Pray and believe for greater things for Tim. A friend of mine who started a great shoe company in Los Angeles uses this tag line for his brand and I can’t help not to use it. Javier, thanks in advance for a brilliant mind. He says it like this, “True stars keep on shining.” I believe this for Reality LA and the many other incredible houses of worship in Los Angeles.

Here are my recommendations for places to collide into God in Los Angeles. As many of you may or may not know, I spent 5 years in Los Angeles and began my collision with Christ at the Dream Center in Los Angeles.

Matthew Barnett: Dream Center Los Angeles
Philip Wagner: Oasis LA
Mel Ayres: In His Presence
Tim Chaddick: Reality LA
Erwin Mcmanus: Mosaic LA

Follow @holaratcha daily grenades here or in Twitosphere.

photo by Willow Creek Media

Last night my brain got the better of me. I completely confess to my utter foolishness concerning Bill Hybels. As many of you may know, my mouth and brain  run (bolt) fast. Not only do these gifts work fast but are equally blunt. While these characteristics can be extremely advantageous (which they are), they can also be disastrous (which they also are).

Our mouths #### us up. They do! The person contrary to this statement should go stand in line for the first space ship to Mars because there are others there who agree with you. Let’s get to the point, we say things we shouldn’t but rarely ever correct these statements now flying into humanity.

This leads me to status updates, tweets and blog posts which are blasted into internetland every single day. Many of these are untrue statements of others, negative statements about others, dishonoring opinions about others, derogatory, malicious and antagonizing words about others.

We tell ourselves we are just letting off steam or de-stressing. We tell ourselves it is our way to unwind or is a gift we have. We tell ourselves someone has to say it, someone has to recognize it. We tell ourselves how right we are and how wrong others are. What the #### are we telling ourselves?

I made an extremely sarcastic statement to Bill Hybels of Willow Creek organization last night (Follow Bill here). Recently I checked out his twitter and noticed that this lenged, this incredible church leader, this incredible global mogul, this remarkable piece of humanity was only following 2 people! 2 People, I remarked to myself on my sofa. How can this global mogul follow only 2 people? There is no one on the planet so awesome to only follow 2 people.

I was aggravated and like most Americans I decided to say what no one else would. As if my words were going to change something, as if my words even needed to change something, as if my words and attitude should warrant a change. Why didn’t I decide to mind my own ###### business? Why didn’t I listen to my wife (Follow my wife and her words of wisdom here).

Most of you online have said something to someone or retorted to another with not only wrong words but wrong feelings behind the words. I’ll bring it home like this. We live a majority of our lives  online and yet we do not resolve as much online as we should. We move on and think it doesn’t matter.

I’m here to remind you there is a God who measures words and attitude. Measure your #### before you blast on someone. For me, I knew I needed to resolve this statement. I know Bill Hybels could care less or anyone else from Willow Creek organization. They are used to people bashing them. What I do know they care about is people making restitution. I do know they care about the sin and the sinner. I do know they are working their ### off at bringing the lost into God’s Kingdom.

Confront and handle your ####  you have been saying online. Just because you don’t think you have caused a rift doesn’t mean you haven’t. Psalms says those with clean hands and a pure heart will ascend the hill of the Lord. It’s kinda hard to clean up your heart when you avoid it.

Below is my formal apology to Bill Hybels concerning my tweet to him. I am not sure he will ever see it but it’s not really for him, it is for my ignorant ### self. Forgive me Bill and more importantly God.

photo by @LifeRefresh

A few weeks back I noticed an announcement at church about baptism. Let’s be honest, 90% of the  church announcements displayed I am on my phone either checking twitter or my Espn app. Don’t ask why, you do the same thing.

We all know church news and announcements are  transitional fillers. No one could possibly remember a church news announcements when they only watch it 1x every 7 days. Why do we remember Budweiser ads? Simple, they are replayed religiously every single day, during every single show men watch.

On this particular Sunday a baptism announcement caught my attention. I thought long and hard and remembered that I really hadn’t been baptized since I “believed”. Well, I kinda had but I was like 7 years old and I didn’t think I really knew what the heck baptism was. I think I was more excited there was going to be a pool inside church and thought it would be pretty cool to go “swimming” aka baptized during church.

I am also the preachers son at the church I attend and squirmed at the idea of going in front of everyone and getting dunked during a church service. I am a very low key, don’t try and notice me kinda person and having my face on the jumbo tron at church is the last thing I imagine concerning baptism.

Before I forget. I nearly was baptized in the Jordan River in 2008 by Benny Hinn but decided against it for a few reasons. First, I couldn’t go through with wearing these Abu Dhabi white robes they give you.

Plus, I personally watched 2,000 adults stand in a ridiculously long line in the hot sun. This was not a baptism. This was a new ride at Six Flags. This was more like cattle aimlessly walking to their deaths. I was hoping for the white dove to rest on my shoulder but I was most certain all the doves in the area were flying for freedom.

So, needless to say, as much as I would have liked to say Benny Hinn baptized me, He did not. I did assist many of these Holy Land seekers to dry towels, cameras and help up the stone steps back to reality. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved for Benny Hinn to dunk me in the Jordan River but like I said before, too much hype and you can find me exit stage left.

Today was my day. I had decided a few days ago to ask my dad to baptize me. My father in law was also going to be with us and it appeared the stars had aligned. The location was perfect, water temperature just right and it was low key. It also didn’t hurt that I had my father and father in law (who are both clergy) to handle the Biblical logistics. The moment was set.

I’ll let the pictures tell the rest of the story. Here are a few scriptures to get you thinking about baptism if you haven’t yet. If you are unsure, seriously read through what the Bible says. There are very few commands that are repeated and are in such close relation to following Christ.

Matthew 3:6
And when they confessed their sins, he baptized them in the Jordan River.

Mark 16:16
Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned

Luke 3:3
Then John went from place to place on both sides of the Jordan River, preaching that people should be baptized to show that they had repented of their sins and turned to God to be forgiven

Acts 2:38
Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Acts 2:41
Those who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day—about 3,000 in all.

Acts 8:12
But now the people believed Philip’s message of Good News concerning the Kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ. As a result, many men and women were baptized.

Acts 9:18
Instantly something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he regained his sight. Then he got up and was baptized.

Acts 10:48
So he gave orders for them to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Afterward Cornelius asked him to stay with them for several days.

Acts 16:33
Even at that hour of the night, the jailer cared for them and washed their wounds. Then he and everyone in his household were immediately baptized.

Acts 18:8
Crispus, the leader of the synagogue, and everyone in his household believed in the Lord. Many others in Corinth also heard Paul, became believers, and were baptized.

Acts 22:16
What are you waiting for? Get up and be baptized. Have your sins washed away by calling on the name of the Lord.’

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LifeRefresh

photo by @LIfeRefresh

]]> http://ihatechurch.com/2010/08/13/believe-and-be-baptized/feed/ 8 http://ihatechurch.com/2010/07/30/a-drop-will-kill-yah/ http://ihatechurch.com/2010/07/30/a-drop-will-kill-yah/#comments Fri, 30 Jul 2010 06:15:40 +0000 holaratcha http://ihatechurch.com/?p=827

Another night, another bomb dropped at Connect 2010. Carl Lentz was quoted as saying “don’t let the long hair and skinny leg jeans fool yah … I’ll make it rain on yah.”

Of course I took this quote totally out of context because it is my blog and I can do whatever I want. He was actually talking about his basketball skills which had been in full effect earlier in the day as he put on a clinic for some blind children in nearby Indiana. (I’m layin it on thick, so I hope you are catchin it) Stick with me and I’ll give you a mug shot of Carl Lentz’s personal notes ….

The title of the message was “That Girl Is Poison”. Click here to listen to the track and singalong if you wish.You know you want to … be careful or you may wander off to Netflix and start queing Jungle Fever, Juice, New Jack City or Menace To Society. It just may happen.

What kind of poison has dripped into your perspective and tainted your view of Jesus? Maybe your view of the Bible has been poisoned? All it takes is one drop.

Your perspective is so fragile and time so limited. I have so many stupid movie lines buzzing in my brain right now that I have to cough a few up. “You must choose, but choose wisely,” “You only get one shot,” “I’m your huckleberry.”

And of course right when I attempt to draw out all of these movie quotes my brain decides to think about something else. Apologies in advance, hope you enjoy the notes.

Follow @Holaratcha in Twitosphere.

Photo by Holaratcha via Droid X

Jesus is NOT Your Homeboy

I decided to digg up an old post because I saw another one of those retarded “Jesus is my homeboy” tshirts. Once again it reminded me of one of the greatest shows ever … Punk’d. Here is 2 Reasons Why Jesus is NOT Your Homeboy.

On a sidenote, any person who uses the word Homeboy should not. In fact, the word “homeboy” should be erased from the internet for 20 years. We can then revisit this word while watching Ashton Kutcher on the news because he fell and broke his hip.

Contrary to popular belief, “homeboy“, along with “homie” were both created by Chicano, aka Mexican American Pachucos from the word “Hombre” which is spanish for “man.” It all derived from the slang they used known as “Calo.” Chuco #1: What’s happenin’ homie?

Chuco #2: Just kickin it with my homeboy.{courtesy of Urban Dictionary}

As a man, Jesus performed many miracles, which set him apart. When we think of set apart, you have to imagine these miracles happening to you or a member of your family. Try to digest the full impact of the following miraculous acts.

He healed Peter’s mother of a fever. He also healed lepers. In Matthew 9:20 He healed a woman who suffered from menorrhagia, or, what scholars would consider to be hemophilia. Remember, no X-rays, no CAT scans, no Vicodine, Codiene, Tylenol etc. Imagine pain and then grab a hammer and smash each finger… one – by – one.

In St. Mark, Jesus heals a man who has a withered hand. He is also credited with simply speaking and healing a young boy who was close to dying. His impact was continually felt everywhere He traveled. We are talking about your levels of friends, and comparing this metric with Jesus. We are reminding eachother how insane it would have been to be next to Him as He rocked up and commanded a buried, embalmed dead man to come out of a grave. Fully dead, fully embalmed inside a real grave. Is He greater than Michael Jackson’s rendition of “Thriller?”

Luke alone states that, during Sabbath, Jesus ate in the house of a prominent Pharisee, opposite someone who suffered from dropsy, and Jesus asked the Pharisees that were present if it was lawful to heal on Sabbath. After getting no reply, He healed the man. Jesus then challenged the Pharisees to say that they would not immediately pull out an ox, or a son (or a donkey, according to some ancient manuscripts of Luke), if it fell into a well during Sabbath.

He took shots at deafness, blindness and paralysis. None of them were any match. I wonder sometimes how I would treat my local pastor if he had performed the following miracles? Would his sermon be boring or would my mind drift off to my DVR schedule of HBO? Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Flight of The Concords… (your mind is gone at this point in church and you need to hit the reset button).

REASON #1 WHY JESUS IS NOT YOUR HOMEBOY: If you have homies, who can do everything in the above few paragraphs, then please alert me. I am hanging with the wrong people and my life sucks. (Thank you for pointing out to me my lack of awesome relationships.)

Did Jesus come to bring peace?

St. John 18:37 states: Pilate said, “…So you are a king?”

Jesus responded, “You say I am a king. Actually, I was born and came into the world to testify to the truth. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true.”

St. Matthew 10:32-33 states, “Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven.” V33: “…But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.”

Both of these passages of scripture scream out to me our consistent desire of obtaining FREE STUFF. We love our:
FREE COFFEE,
FREE DONUTS,
FREE CAR WASH,
Buy 1 get one FREE and so on.

I think what we forget is that Jesus lives in a place called H E A V E N. He has thousands and thousands of angels worshipping Him all the time. He is living in the greatest place EVER and is not in the business to give out a FREE HANDOUT to heaven.

Let’s imagine you recently purchased your dream home. Floor to ceiling glass, ocean views, and… you recently finished gutting out every room and installing new carpet. You went nuts and threw down mahogany wood floors, wood shutters.

You went all out, installed a state of the art replica bathtub used by past Ceasar’s, inground swimming pool with giant rock formations. You had custom rocks flown in from Brazil to form a natural waterfall 10 feet high. Now…imagine your pool is deep enough to jump in from that high!

You decided to redesign every room in your house. Your house takes almost 2 years to completely renovate. Imported tile, wood: the finest of the finest. Now imagine how you would feel if your wife or best friend decided to throw a party at your house with a bunch of college kids !

College kids who have not lived in an apartment larger than 2 bedrooms. College kids who have never actually washed dishes; they only wipe them off or use paper plates. College kids who yell WOOO WOOO when you mention the word SPRING BREAK! College kids who conveniently always have a trojan condom that they wash out and re-use because THEY ARE BROKE!

Your house would be trashed!

All your hard work would be torn apart, wasted and destroyed by these so called college friends. Your friends think you’re cool. They may even say they love you, or possibly toss you a text message every so often. These friends may even help YOU out sometimes when you need something done. The question is: do they respect you?

REASON #2 JESUS IS NOT YOUR HOMEBOY: He ultimately has the ability to change your life forever. There is not another individual on this planet or another galaxy, who holds this capability. If you missed what I said, here it is again: No one else can alter the course of your ETERNAL life. We are not talking about your mortgage, your job, your spouse, your family or your winning lotto ticket.

Imagine how long it feels like to stare at a clock for a whole entire hour. Now imagine that clock ticking forever… where would you like to spend that time?

++Digg++ St. Matthew 4:16 ,17 :: St. Mark 1:14,15 :: St. Luke 13:3,5

Closing Quote: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” – Mother Theresa

Photo by C3 Churches

A guest post by one of the finest leaders in Australia. I read his stuff, I give credit to his stuff, I steal his stuff, I take his stories and make em my own stuff and on this rare occasion, I am reposting some THAT goodness to you. If you don’t know Josh, maybe check him out. If you do know Josh, then thanks for sharing. Follow him here and STOP DOING DRUGS. Not sure who that last tangent was for …

You will probably like his magic_ness. He is extremely creative, he even spaces his blogs out super nice and neat. When he writes it’s as if  you’re watching an artist paint. I don’t even know how that is possible on a computer keyboard … but it is… because HE does it. Words will explode in your face, paint will splatter and you may just feel a bit of sweat in your own palms. Excitement is contagious. Enjoy …

PSALM 46:1 God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble.

I am a refugee in this world

Searching for a place of peace in amidst the war that rages on the inside and outside

Everyone needs a refuge

Everyone needs strength

Everyone is in need

Everyone is in trouble

All have fallen short and need catching

We need catching today

We need arms that can catch us

We need help now

The present is always now

Our need is ever+present

Where do we go for our refuge?

Where do we go for a little bit more strength?

What thoughts invade our minds to help us survive another war torn day?

Our refuge

Our strength

Our trouble

Our present

It is all connected…

Can you see it?

Humanity is hurting

Our hearts need changing

Our hearts are fallen

Our hearts are holding on by a thread of pride

It won’t hold.

Wait.

For.

He.

Who.

Is.

Ever+present.

In the beginning He was present

In the end He is present

Now He is present

JESUS.

THE PERFECT MAN.

EMMANUEL.

GOD WITH US.

CHRIST.

SAVIOR OF HUMANITY.

OUR REFUGE.

OUR STRENGTH.

EVER+PRESENT.

THE CROSS CROSSES ETERNITY TO REACH INTO MY HEART NOW.

LORD YOU ARE MY REFUGE + STRENGTH

WHERE THE EVER MEETS MY PRESENT

When you attend an exquisite birthday party you usually encounter a menu of similarities. You start off with party buses, limo transport or VIP parking. You are most assured to be eating or drinking at one of the finest restaurants or lounges in the city. You will eat more than kobayashi and drink more than a newly dropped off college freshman student. Your excitement levels build alongside everyone as most of the guests have not exchanged stories for a looooong time.

Laughing becomes contagious as you rediscover the old time friends who really are rediculously funny. You notice girls who metamorphasized at the chance to put on a new stunning cocktail dress, makeup, stilettos and a dinner clutch that sparkles, hooking your eye like a shiny, sharp lure. It is like a laser beam clutch bag and your eyes are no match to resist.

The party continues as everyone laughs and occasionally checks their twitter status. Some guests embellish the moment and continue to eat more than they should and drink more than they should. Very soon they will be kicking themselves again as they trip over their feet, say an obnoxious comment, spill a drink on someone or shutdown completely.

The best is when you get that one over zealous guest who’s excitement has been extinguished and exchanged with agony. You spot them in the corner, sitting on a chair staring at the floor. The only thing you can think of is how hard they are trying not to throw up the most expensive meal they have ever eaten …. irony is magical sometimes.

The party I attended was similar in many ways but was highlighted in a different way. I have been to birthday parties with slide shows, blackjack tables, Xbox sponsorships and fashion shows but this moment surpassed them all. I’ll do my best to describe it in detail as it went like this …

We were all seated, about 15 of us at obviously one of the nicest restaurants in the city. Our table was decorated with nice, modern birthday table arrangements, pretty standard, but nice. We all sit down and immediately scour the menu like any hungry, food addict about to devour a free meal. You have to make sure you are making the best possible decision, there is no room for error because you never know if or when you will ever eat at this restaurant again.

15 people at a table can generate quite a bit of noise not counting the 10 – 12 people around adding to the decibels. Conversations become cumbersome but since you are memorizing the menu for the first 10 minutes, most people don’t have too much to say. You only hear, “what are you gonna get or what do you think of this?” These are complete focus moments, like staring at your first playboy magazine, unsure of what to do next.  Finally, focus time breaks with our party host making an announcement.

“We would like each of you to think of a defining moment of our birthday guest. The moment can be funny or serious but needs to be a distinct space of time that stood out for you involving our guest.” And then she says, I’ll go first.” Thank God, I thought to myself. Fortunately, I was in a pretty solid spot on the table.

There were nearly 12 people ahead of me … I should be able to think of something or at least be able to gauge how serious or funny these stories need to be. So I sat back, listened and let 3 or 4 thoughts juggle in my head like a lottery pick. I figured I would reach my hand inside the spinning ball just before it was my turn so I didn’t over think the story. It would appear more natural and organic … or so I thought?

We all sat listening to each person describe a defining moment with our guest. Some were funny, others were serious but they all were initiated by one comment point. If this man had never been born we would have never had VIP shuttle service, a $300 meal per person, laughs with old and new friends or a chance to say words to a great friend that we may have hid for years and years.

Such a great, simple question to ask yourself and your friends … these are the questions you ask yourself when someone is dead but then it’s too late. You say to yourself, I wish I would have told them …. or I remember when … Take some time today and think of a defining moment of those closest to you.

What stood out about them? What made you interested in knowing them? How about your husband, wife, fiance, girlfriend or boyfriend? Was it something they did or said? Was it a mutual connection that put you together?

Follow @Holaratcha daily grenades in Twitosphere.

Photo by PhotoBucket

{This is a guest post from a friend. The story is gripping and surprisingly true. If you have ever watched Pulp Fiction, you will really get into this.  Approximately 4 minutes total read time.}

Oh God Please Give Me The Strength To Kill This Guy!

That was honestly my prayer. It was a Friday night and were just cut free on a four day weekend liberty from the Camp Pendleton Marine Corps Base. We had just finished a three week field exercise and we all had plenty of money.

I remember saying to myself, “ I’m gonna go out and get laid tonight“. Now I know that’s not the “Christian” thing to do, but three weeks with dirty marines is not my thing. I wanted some beer and some action. I was far away enough from home and nobody knows who I am anyway so why not.

A bunch of us went into town together to a strip club and enjoyed some drinks and entertainment. I remember a short fat guy walking up and asking if he could buy us “Jar Heads” a drink. Nobody minded and he confessed he was a prior Army guy. We all ordered and he sat next to me.

The night wore on, small talk and cheap beer, I was just glad to be out of the field. At some point my “friends” moved on not sure when or where but I was still at the club. My next memory was I was in a sports car driving around and the fat dude was driving. I thought, that’s funny I don’t remember leaving the club.

He asked me what kind of beer I liked and I reluctantly tried to think of something hard to get. “Mickeys” I said. We made a stop and he said he’d be right back. Seem like a sec or two later and I had a six pack of Mickeys in my lap. I still didn’t understand where I was and how I got there but I was growing a little uncomfortable with the situation.

My next memory was I was in a room sitting on a bed looking at two walls. One wall was every kind of alcohol you could imagine, the other was hundreds of VHS porn movies. I thought, this guys is a whack job with some serious issues. I still didn’t feel like I was in danger because I could waste this little fat guy anytime I wanted too. But even as I said that to myself I realized I could not move my arms. As a matter of fact I couldn’t move much of anything.

Then the horror of it all started washing over me. I was a victim of some benzodiazepines. This is also known as the Date Rape drug and I was the date. I was furious but I couldn’t let this guy know because it could go very bad for me.

He through in a porno and grabbed some Tequila and pulled my head back. He opened my mouth and said, “Marines like tequila” and laughed. He filled my mouth and I thought, I’m a goner if I swallow this. I could feel the burn in my mouth and my tongue was on fire. I leaned forward and let the liquid run out of my mouth and down my chest.

As a marine, we shave every day from the bottom of our eyes to the shirt line of our tee shirt. I felt like I had lava running down my face and neck. He pushed me back on the bed and took off my boots and pants. Before long I was completely nude and furious with myself for allowing all of this to happen.

I began to strategize on how this man must die. Tonight I was going to cross the line and really sin. While I was laying there I thought he will not have his way with me. I began to lock up I crossed my legs and held my hands over my chest and weathered this storm. Without getting graphic he was frustrated and I managed to position myself so that this homosexual couldn’t get what he wanted. I remember he rubbed off on the side of the bed and went to sleep.

All night long I heard him snore and all night long I prayed, Please God, give me back my strength. I kind of felt like Samson after getting his hair cut off. I was so angry and even though he was sleeping

I could still feel his hands all over my body. This was too much. He must die tonight. Oh God, Please give me the strength to kill this guy. I just need a little bit more power. Inch by inch I began to put my clothes back on. It seem like hours to do the simplest task. I looked outside the window and realized the Sun was coming up.

I didn’t have much time left and I had so much work to do. I mean after I kill him I had to deal with the body and all. Then there was the making it look like some pagan sacrifice or something to through off the investigators. I began to think of how to hide all the DNA evidence. My mind was swimming, but first things first. Death to the fat gay guy was all that was on my mind now. He woke up and started to take a shower and I barely had my boots on. He said “ Come on, I’ll take you back to town.”

I was still so weak and I knew I couldn’t be successful with my mission, so I began to make a mental note of when he lived and his address. I was coming back and we were really gonna party then. As we were driving I began to feel a little out of danger. I didn’t want to look at him so I just looked out the window. We drove over 40 miles back to the town where the strip club was. I couldn’t believe how far I was off base. Nobody would have found me, ever! He pulled up to a bus depot and I got out.

I turned and cussed him out as he laughed and drove off. I began to memorize his plates and as soon as his car was gone like demonic spirit lifting off of me I began to feel my strength return. Within minutes I was almost full strength and was more furious than ever.Rage began to well up inside of me.

Back at base I took long showers and didn’t take to anybody the rest of the weekend. I was wounded in my mind. I wanted revenge and why did God let this happen to me? I mean I grow up in a Christian home, my dad was a pastor, I wasn’t that bad. I was just looking for fun.

Sin will always cost you more than you wanted to pay and keep you longer than you wanted to stay. It would be many mistakes and years latter in life that I would walk free from this experience but God did bring to my mind clarity on this issue. One day in prayer I asked God again, How and why did this happen to me? In a split second my mind opened up to a movie where I was the star of the show.

It started in 4th grade when I traded a Chewbacca Star Wars Card to a girl just show me her butt. Then instance after instance the Lord showed me how Satan worked in my life exposing me to deeper sins of lust, desires, porn and addictions right up to the very statement in life “ I’m gonna go out and get laid tonight“. I was stunned at the revelation. It was so clear to me now.

I was where I was at because of every little decision I had ever made in life. Every choice, every action had purpose. Every thing that I thought was “nothing at all” was the very brick and mortar that was my own prison cell in life. Captured and tormented by my own actions.

It wasn’t God at all. He was there with me telling me don’t do this, don’t do that. But in life, I wanted to rebel because of all the hypocrisy I discovered in the Church. They were all fakers. At least that’s what I wanted to see to justify my own desires. Then I realized every man needs the truth. The truth that in themselves is nothing but destruction and only obedience to Gods Word is the answer.
I never murdered that man, but I repented for killing him thousands of times in my mind.

This past weekend was filled with Blackhawks rallies, NBA Finals, The World Cup in South Africa and me wondering how Jesus finds time to get to church amidst all this. I mean cmon? World Cup fever is in full effect, Chicago has been sipping champagne from the Stanley Cup and we still have this crazy oil spill going down. How – Does – He – Do – It? or Does – He – Do – It?

If you walk into a church do you ever consider it to be “The House of God” or is it filed into another category in your brain such as: things you do on Sunday, the place where I score free day care for 2 hours, a quality air conditioned nap, interesting stories about Jesus, awesome music light shows or the last place on earth to find a virgin?

THE – HOUSE – OF – GOD.

Look, your church may be a bit more casual and you may have all kinds of fun,  which I think is awesome. Something to think about amidst all of the fun is: are you receiving what you want out of attending church? Let’s bust it down even more. Are you experiencing, finding or knowing Jesus Christ when you walk through them church doors? If not, consider the mental framework you  constructed concerning your place of worship.

Do you walk in late? Do you expect to hear a message directly from heaven? Do you honor Matthew 18:20 when Jesus says where 2 or 3 gather in my name I am there in the midst of them? Hello, have you considered Jesus in the midst with you while in church?

Hebrews 11:1 says, Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. You may think it’s crazy to conjure up all this holy ideology concerning a church building or you may recognize your need for it. Either way, the decision is yours.

Think about the possibilities of Jesus being in the midst of you. Game – Set – Match

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